Unconditional Love
by azarathangel
Summary: [Jan CBPC] She still loved them, no matter how hard she tried to hate. [BB]


**Story: Unconditional Love**

**Disclaimer: I happen to own… NOTHING! Everyone belongs to FOX…. Damn. No claim to anything but—hopefully—this plot.**

**Spoilers: Basic Brennan parent stuff**

**Pairing: BoothxBrennan-ish**

**Chapters: One-shot for January CBPC **

**Summary: She still loves them, no matter how hard she tries to hate.**

**Chapter 1: Unconditional Love**

**Note: Little thing that popped into my mind during World Civilization class, the most boring thing in the world. So, yes. Enjoy!**

**Yet another note: If you are a reader of my fics, then I'll have you know that I recently completed the long-awaited 'Cage.' If you haven't read it, go on over and review after reviewing this ficcy!! Gratsi, gracias, sheshe, etc…**

**Rating: K+**

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"I love them." The sudden revelation was a hard hit in the face. Brennan stared wide-eyed at the glossy photographs littering her coffee table, and she repeated the same three words to herself again.

"I love them…" For years, Brennan had tried to be mad at her parents for everything. She tried to hate them for leaving her; she tried to blame her father for letting her mother die; she tried to despise her mother for leading the life of crime that got her killed; she tried to detest Russ for leaving her to the foster system. For fifteen long years, she had tried to harbor negative feelings towards her family. For awhile, it seemed to work. But then she saw her mother's face revolve around in a 3D holograph and Russ walked up to her platform with Booth. Everything changed.

The hate was a stable feeling. There were no layers to it, nothing to analyze. She hated them for leaving her, plain and simple. There was a logical explanation and the feelings seemed to match. It was adding one and two together, and she came up with three: three people she hated. Well, she thought she hated them.

Brennan ran her pale, shaking fingers delicately over the faces in the picture. They were at a picnic; she had been thirteen at the time. The old red and white checkered tablecloth was lying on the grass in the park, and a wicker basket stood opened on the corner. Russ was holding a bag of chips out of reach as the young Tempe reached for the bag, a smile on her face. In the picture, Russ looked like he was about to topple over from Tempe pushing on him in an attempt to retrieve the crinkling bag. Christine Brennan sat off to the side, a hand over her mouth as she suppressed a laugh. Even though the photo was faded, Brennan could see in her mind's eye the sparkle of her mother's blue eyes as she laughed. People—Booth, to be specific—told her that her eyes sparkled and danced whenever she laughed. She would never tell them she had her mother's eyes; those memories were too painful.

To a certain degree, there had been contempt. She certainly was mad, and she thought she hated them. But Brennan had been wrong: dead wrong. This was not something where you miss a question on a test and miss a few points. You can correct those answers and remember them for next time. It isn't a life-altering mistake. But thinking you hate someone, now that's a mistake that does change your life and course of thinking. Instead of spending her time remembering good memories, Brennan spent her time alone hating her parents and her brother. It was unhealthy; it was a mistake; it hardened her heart. People thought that she closed herself off as a defense mechanism to brace herself for the foster system and she never quite recovered, but they were wrong. She was cold because of her own doing, and when people accused her of that, they were right. And that hurt, especially when good people like Booth jumped to her defense. He was wrong, and the enemy was right. And that was painful.

"Bones?" Booth's familiar voice traveled through her wooden door and to her ear. He knocked again. "Bones?" When she didn't reply, Booth knocked again, harder this time, almost desperately. "Bones!?" After she hung up on him on the phone earlier, he had tried to go back to what he was doing, but he had been worried. She had been terse, snippy, upset, and he detected fear and uncertainty coating the undertones of her words. So, here he was, the ever-loyal knight in shining FBI-issued body armor. Well, he was wearing jeans and a T-Shirt under his coat now, so the body armor part didn't apply at that minute.

"Are you in there?" Booth called. Brennan still did not respond. It would be better if he just left; it would be better for him to leave her alone and never find out what she had done. What would he think? Booth who believed in love and finding goodness; Booth who believed in a god who hated none and forgave all?

"No, I'm not here…" Brennan whispered to herself, her depressed tone carrying a hint of desperation she was glad nobody was around to hear.

"I'm coming in, Bones!" Booth announced just as she heard the lock turn. Why did she have to give him a key?

Booth closed the door behind him and stepped into her living room. He stopped when Brennan turned her face to look into his. Her eyes spoke of pain, of longing, of disappointment and anger. Booth's breath caught in his chest as he stared into those tortured orbs.

"Bones, what is it?" He approached her slowly and spoke softly. She turned her gaze back to the pictures strewn in front of her, and Booth almost breathed a sigh of relief when she turned her head away from him. Those wide blue eyes…

"I still love them." Booth had to strain to hear her quiet words. He soundlessly sat beside her on the couch and looked at the picture in her hand of her parents and Russ.

"You'll always love your parents, Bones." He told her. Brennan shook her head.

"No, you don't understand." She gave an exasperated sigh and ran a hand through her auburn locks as she let the picture flutter back to the pile.

"Then let me understand," he countered. Brennan looked at him, considering her choice of words. After a long pause, she sighed again and closed her eyes.

"I've tried to hate them for years, Russ, too." Her voice was soft as she spoke those tormenting words aloud. "I tried to hate them for leaving me; I tried to hate my mother for dying, my father for not stopping it, Russ for walking out on me… for fifteen years, Booth, and I thought I hated them. I tried to be mad at them, but I can't. I can't be angry anymore, Booth. I love them…"

"Temperance, they're your parents. You're allowed to love them. You can be angry for what's happened, but you'll always love them no matter what. That's what love is. It's unconditional."

"Unconditional love… Unrestricted, unqualified, total, absolute, unreserved. No limitations, guaranteed, no stipulations attached. Is that what love is, Booth?"

"You can't turn everything into words and definitions. You can try, but sooner or later you'll find out that some things just _are_." Brennan sighed as Booth finished his sentence. A single tear found its way to the corner of her closed eye and it slowly rolled down her cheek, leaving a shiny trail behind it.

"I thought I had it figured out. I hated them, and there was a reason. It was logical, analyzable, and simple. I figured it out and categorized it just like everything else and then I was done with it. But now everything has changed." Brennan raised her head from the back of the couch and put her head in her hands, elbows resting on her legs.

"Oh God, Booth, I've been so damn _selfish_!" She cried, shaking her head gently. "I've been wishing and wishing for them to come back and I thought they were being the selfish ones. While I was in the system, I thought they were out having fun and not caring about what happened to Russ or me. I thought they were the selfish ones when really they've been so selfless all along.

"They left because they loved me. They loved Russ and I so much that they left. My parents didn't want us getting hurt by the people that were following them, so they decided to never return to us so we could try and start over. Then when Russ left, I had to experience it all over again. I was angry at him, I hated him. Russ was being the selfless one then, though. He thought I'd be better off without him..." Brennan angrily brushed a tear from her eye and stared at the offending droplet of water that now sat on her finger.

"It's not them, Booth. It's me. It's my fault I'm cold and heartless like everyone else says I am. It's my fault." More tears dripped from her blue eyes, and Booth reached out a hand and gently wiped them from her cheek with his thumb. Brennan's eyes closed again as he touched her face.

Booth's brow furrowed and he quickly gathered her up in his arms and pulled her close to his chest, tenderly stroking her hair as he subtly rocked back and forth and let her cry.

"It's me…" she whispered again, though this time when she said the words, there was relief in her voice. She had finally figured it out, and this time, she was right.

"Love is unconditional, Bones. Your parents will always love you, Russ will always love you, and no matter how hard you fight it, you will love them, too."

"I do," her quiet voice answered his. "Will you always love me, Booth?"

"Yes, Bones. Always." He smiled a little as he replied. "And will you always love me?"

"Unconditionally."

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So, this was supposed to end right after "'It's me…' she whispered again, though this time when blah blah blah' but the fluff bunnies got a hold of my little typing fingers and I put fluff in. For those of you who did not understand, the two are together already. Yay BB fluff!! So, anyhoo, review this and then go and read the final chapter of 'Cage' and then review that, too!!! Good luck to all in this month's bullpen challenge!!

-Ash


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